Im a 17 year old guy, i am worred about my school work and my life, I think I am gay, im scared & I feel down?

heya! okay basically for the grades i kinda felt the same like im pressured and i need to do really well to impress .ive lost a few people in my family but i have learnt to move on. and as this is your life were talking about i think you have to put all your emotion feelings to a side and all the pressure and just concentrate on your education because that is whats going to give you a career ( a life). as for the feeling gay im sure everyone feels this way its maybe because you admire this person too much or maybe beacuse of your past and being called ugly alot you thought hes hot i wanna be like him. so you may of thought of yourself as being him which maybe the reason why you love him alot because you think hes you. and everyone at a young age doesnt look good because theyre in the early teenage stages so hormones and spots and changes begin to develop. its known that you look best when your in your 20's and thats a fact. i think if you hold your head up high and smile and actually feel confident and make friends with girls youll actually get used to them and then like them. i wanted to know do you feel any attraction to girls when you look at them? and btw my cousins in uni she feels like shes gnna flop because of the pressure and she crys to me and gets alll her emotions out on me which may also help. she feels better afterwards. i think just a bit of courage is all it needs and if you find you are gay then like i said be brave confident i mean your parents will love you no matter what coz theyre your parents in the end of the day! i hope everything works out for you! and maybe try the crying! it really does work! :P